Paddy Plays in Dead Mule Swamp- Chapter 15

cover design by Farah Evers

I keep wondering if these recent chapters are "working." But I let chapter 15 sit for a day, and just re-read it, and I think it's basically solid.

I have two people from my local writing group who are going to read everything I have written in sequence, and then provide feedback. This should be extremely helpful.

Don't think that I'm just being self-deprecating and uncertain of my ability to write a good book. I've recently read a couple of self-published e-books that were quite good, but both of them would have been even better, excellent, with a bit of cleaning up. I think that if the authors had taken time to get some reaction from other people those improvements would have been made. We so often have blind spots in our writing, or we only see one possible interpretation of a sequence when there could be others.

I've come a long way from the days when I thought that everything I wrote was perfect, and I didn't want anyone to "mess" with it. If you are reading this, and you knew me when... you can start cheering now.

Here's an excerpt from Chapter 15:

    “That’s helpful, at least,” Milford admitted. “Stay in groups of two, but I’ll keep the girl and the dog with me.”
    I assumed I was included with the dog. We continued straight east, while the two Sheriff deputies veered southeast. Tracy and Tom angled to the northeast. We walked silently for a few minutes, until Sunny said, “I don’t remember this place at all.”
    We had reached the edge of some open water with standing dead trees breaking from the surface and clawing at the sky. There was a small island about a hundred yards away. On the shore, practically at our feet, was a small broken rowboat, turned bottom-up.

You can buy book 1, News from Dead Mule Swamp, for only 99¢ at Smashwords, or Amazon

Paddy Plays in Dead Mule Swamp- Chapter 14

cover design by Farah Evers

Chapter 14 is the first of the chapters after everything in the story has changed. There has been a crisis and people are going to begin to react differently to each other, new characters will come in, and relationships will change.

Sometimes I think I'm really dense when it comes to this sort of thing. I'm not sure why I didn't realize this story could become quite "heavy" when I thought up the plot line. At the time, it just seemed like an interesting story, but the people who were affected by the events weren't "real" to me yet.

Now they are, and for the book to remain a "light" mystery, I need to let the characters be emotional in a natural way, and yet not let them get bogged down in the tragedy. Bad stuff happens, and there is a fair amount of it in this story.

Here's an excerpt from Chapter 14:

    “How are you related to these girls?” Milford interrupted.
    “I’m not,” I answered. “Their grandfather is on his way. He’s their guardian. And Angelica’s father.”
    “Okay, we’ll wait until he gets here.”
    Milford pulled Brown aside and said something to him, after which the deputy went out to the car, and the detective sat down heavily at the kitchen table and clamped his jaw shut. We sat there in uncomfortable silence.
    The girls became tense and increasingly frightened at the man’s gruff demeanor as the minutes ticked by. I was more than relieved when I heard another car approach. As soon as I said, “It’s your grandfather,” both girls jumped up and ran toward the front door.

You can buy book 1, News from Dead Mule Swamp, for only 99¢ at Smashwords, or Amazon

Paddy Plays in Dead Mule Swamp- Chapter 13

cover design by Farah Evers

Getting this chapter written is HUGE! It's a pivotal moment in the book when everything changes, very emotional. I hope I've done it justice. I'm sure with some input from beta readers I will get it there, if I haven't done so already.

Now, I need to take a symbolic deep breath, because that's what Ana would need to do, and make decisions about what she would do next. About how it changes the pace and depth of her interest in the "mysterious" situation.

Here's an excerpt from the current Chapter 13:

    Sunny’s face darkened and her eyes flashed. “I didn’t! It’s not mine.”
    Although Sunny was looking stormy, I watched the color drain away from Star’s face. Her skin turned a muddy gray-brown and she began to sink to the ground. I grabbed for her, and managed to keep her from toppling over, but she ended up on the grass in a tangle of knees and elbows, clutching the bracelet. Tears were running down her face.

You can buy book 1, News from Dead Mule Swamp, for only 99¢ at Smashwords, or Amazon

Paddy Plays in Dead Mule Swamp- Next Chapter

cover design by Farah Evers

In which the opening of Chapter 13 becomes Chapter 12, and other feats of reformation.

Writers will often state that a work will take on a life of its own and dictate what should happen next, or when. I've been a victim of that phenomenon this week.

I have an outline, supposedly through Chapter 18 (when I have to make a plot decision). So, I started Chapter 12 on Thursday, right after finishing 11. I thought I knew what was going to happen in it. But I got a few paragraphs in and stalled. What should John Aho tell Ana? What was the real reason for the attack with the tire iron? Then I stalled. I didn't know the answers to those questions yet.

Finally, I decided to just finish that chapter later and move on to the next one where some action was due to occur. Last night I couldn't sleep, so I began writing that scene. But the more I wrote, the more I realized that it needed a long build-up, which became its own chapter, but delaying the action any more might be unwise. So much for the original Chapter 12! I reduced it to seven sentences, left those unanswered questions unanswered (it's a mystery after all) and it became the ending for Chapter 11.

I'm back to matching with my outline (not that it matters a bit... it's just a tentative way to track the timeline of the story), and something big is about to happen in Chapter 13.

Meanwhile, here's an excerpt from the current Chapter 12:

    Len was seated on the couch folding a basket of laundry, and Sunny was eating toast with red jelly at the counter which served to divide the kitchen from the living room. It was a typical set-up for a single-wide trailer, made with cheap materials. The cupboard doors were chipped and the Formica countertop was worn. Everything looked beat-up and dingy, but clean. There were no sagging curtain rods, or gaping holes in the paneling with erupting insulation, so typical of old mobile homes which have been subjected to years of family life. I was impressed.

You can buy book 1, News from Dead Mule Swamp, for only 99¢ at Smashwords, or Amazon

Paddy Plays in Dead Mule Swamp- Chapter 11, Twice

cover design by Farah Evers

I've actually written two chapters since last posting about it. However, I decided to combine the previous chapters 6 and 7 into one since they both were short and took place in the same location.

In this chapter, Ana gets some advice from her friend Cora, whom you met in the previous book.

Here's an excerpt from the current Chapter 11:

    “You’re welcome to read the papers, of course, but they won’t tell you much more than what Len probably told you. The whole thing came to a dead end really quickly. There wasn’t much of an investigation, to tell you the truth.”
    “You remember when it happened, then?”
    “Sure. The Sheriff questioned that boyfriend of hers...”
    “DuWayne.”
    “I’d forgotten his name. But, anyway, his whole day was accounted for...

You can buy book 1, News from Dead Mule Swamp, for only 99¢ at Smashwords, or Amazon

The Value of Good Feedback, Early

I've mentioned my local writer support group here, the West Side Gang, several times. I definitely want to talk about my participation with these people again. Last night there were six women and two men in attendance. (I tell you that only because the picture shows just women.)

Although I'm up to chapter 11 of Paddy Plays in Dead Mule Swamp with the writing, the group only meets twice a month so my sharing is way behind the writing. Last night I read chapter 4 to them. It's the chapter where the crux of what the mystery will be is revealed.

I learned some things from their reactions. This is perhaps an even better story than I anticipated (assuming I can carry it out as well as I introduced it). They were obviously gripped by the "facts" of the case, and are already identifying with the two children in the book, Star and Sunny.

Based on that observation, I think I can dismiss any ambivalence I was feeling about "moving the plot forward" fast enough. It is taking a lot of chapters to create the back story and set the reader up for a big discovery. But I think the interaction of the characters is going to be enough to hold attention.

I am continuing to do at least an adequate job of ending chapters so that people want to read the next one right away. Every meeting, someone says something like "Is that all?" When I finish my chapter.

Somehow, this book is turning out to have more depth of meaning than the first one. Although both are cozy mysteries, the story line of this one is clearly more poignant.

Of course, the group also serves as my "alpha readers." They help me catch errors, repetitions, boring sections, etc. The fact that there are people with many backgrounds and styles who attend gives me varied perspectives.

If you are writing, and seeking publication of any sort, I strongly recommend joining a writing group. Remember, this advice comes from a group avoider, so you can be sure I really mean it.

Paddy Plays in Dead Mule Swamp - Chapter 10

cover design by Farah Evers

This chapter is really long. Is it too long? Should I make it even longer and break it into two? Does it make any difference? All rhetorical questions at this point.

One thing is certain. I always knew the plot for Paddy Plays in Dead Mule Swamp was going to be more complex than News from Dead Mule Swamp, and that would make for a longer book. It seems to me at this point, it's going to be a lot longer. That's fine, but it might be a bit of a surprise to people who read the first book and expect a similar length.

The pacing of this book is also different. I'm hoping that will work out all right.

Here's an excerpt from Chapter 10:

    From the kitchen window I watched them play with the pup. They had forgotten to put on their long pants, but they seemed adept at keeping away from the dog’s toenails, dancing around him and teasing him with a stick. Paddy got tired of lunging for a stick he couldn’t get, and brought a yellow tennis ball to Sunny. She tossed it to Star. Of course, Paddy raced toward the older girl, who threw the ball to Sunny. The girls seemed completely at ease with the dog. While they played keepaway, I tore up lettuce and washed the other vegetables and fruits we’d bought.

You can buy book 1, News from Dead Mule Swamp, for only 99¢ at Smashwords, or Amazon