Write Smart! Basic Dialog

Dialog is created when characters are quoted word for word. Bill said, "I don't like squash." This is dialog. Bill told us that he doesn't like squash. That is not dialog.

#1- Dialog is always set off with quotation marks.

#2- Words that describe the speaking are called Dialog Tags. Examples are: said, exclaimed, replied, yelled, etc.

#3- Action tags are not dialog tags. This is ambiguous, and there is some overlap. In this lesson, I'll use clear examples. This is an action tag.
     Bill stood. "I don't like squash." He whirled and left the room.
     "Billy, I try so hard to make you happy." His mother turned her head and began to cry.
     Bill's father threw down his napkin. "Give me a break!"

#4- The quotation marks are always outside the punctuation. All the above examples are correct. This one is incorrect. "Sally lamented, "I just can't stand this family"!

#5- If someone who is speaking quotes someone else, use single quotes for the interior one. Examples: Bill returned to the dining room. "The problem is, Sally, we are not really a 'family.'" [Interesting note, books published in Great Britain use single quotes for standard dialog and double ones for interior.]

#6- Use a capital letter to begin a sentence, even after a dialog tag. Example: Mother said, "Oh, not now, Sally."

#7- Every time someone new begins speaking, make a new paragraph. See item 3 above.

#8- However, if one person continues a speech long enough that it needs to be broken up, leave the closing quotation marks off the first paragraph. Example:
     Sally said, "Don't you think I know that? After all, you were adopted, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I didn't even love you when you were a baby.
     "And furthermore, you didn't like squash then, either. Mother made me try to feed it to you, and you always spit it back in my face."

There are other nuances to this issue, but this covers the basics.

Write Smart! Seen vs. Saw

There are a number of regions in the U.S. where most of the population does not use seen and saw in the same format as standard English. It's very difficult for people who grew up this way to switch to correct usages. But let's make it clear what standard English says.

Probably the fast and dirty answer is that you must use "have," "has," or "had" in front of the word "seen." However, "See" and "saw" stand on their own. Never use a form of "have" with either of those.

Here are three official categories. Columns two and three are the only tenses of the verb "to see" that use "seen."

Present tense	Present Perfect tense	Past Perfect tense
I see	I have seen	I had seen
you see	you have seen	you had seen
he/she/it sees	he/she/it has seen	he/she/it had seen
we see	we have seen	we had seen
you see	you have seen	you had seen
they see	they have seen	they had seen

So just remember to always use a form of "have" with "seen."

P.S. "Seeing" is a whole different ball game. Maybe another time.

Write Smart! I or me?

Should you use I or me in that sentence? Let's get the names of those things out of the way. "I" is a subject. It can do action. "Me" is an object. Actions can be done to it.

Most of us are good with simple sentences like "I went to the store," or "He gave the book to me."

Where we get in trouble is when we add extra people. "He gave the book to Meg and I," or "He gave the book to Meg and me." It's easy to decide which is correct if you take out Meg. Most of us know that "He gave the book to I" is wrong.

Lots of people say things like "Jack and me went fishing." Again, take out Jack, and you'll know in an instant it should be "Jack and I went fishing."

There are other permutations of this same problem of mixing subjects and objects. I'll cover some of those in other hints.

Write Smart! Introductory Word Group

If a sentence begins with an introductory phrase/clause, place a comma after it. See what I did there?

Other examples:
A. Buried under the apple tree for years, the box decomposed.
A. During February, Michiganders rarely see the sun.
B. In fact, none of what Mr. Smith said was true.
C. Unlike December in Australia, Ontario's Christmas month was snowy.
D. The rain slowing to a drizzle at last, we were able to go for a walk."

A. The phrase may be an adverb clause telling when, how, or why.

B. The phrase may be transitional such as "in fact," or "for example."

C. The phrase may express contrast such as "Not surprisingly," or "Unlike..."

D. The phrase may be an absolute phrase such as "The clouds hovering all week"

Write Smart! No Comma Here

If the second part of the sentence isn’t a sentence, don’t use a comma. Example: John ate the chili and burped loudly. (“and burped loudly” is not a sentence- it has no subject, so there is no comma before the “and.”)

Example: The dog and cat fought but made up. However, if you change that last example to The dog and cat fought, but they made up, it now needs a comma because you’ve added a subject (they) to the second part and made it into an independent clause, then joined them with "but" (a conjunction).

The second part is called a subordinate clause (it will not stand alone). Some examples are:
...and gave the dog a bone.
...for two days and an hour.
...but wasn't able to keep up.
...and found the restaurant on a side street.

Write Smart! #1- Connecting Sentences

A sentence is made up of a noun and a verb. The parts of the sentence are called the subject which contains the noun and the predicate which contains the verb.

These can be simple: People is a noun; think is a verb. Subject=People, predicate=think. The entire sentence is, "People think."

The parts of the sentence can also be much more complicated.

If you have two sentences and combine them with any of the following words (which are call conjunctions): and, but, or, nor, for, yet, or so, add a comma before the conjunction. Example: Sue bought skates, but Tom stole them. OR, you could use a semicolon instead of one of those connecting words. Example: Sue bought skates; Tom stole them.

Each part that could stand alone is called an independent clause. They are independent because each could be a sentence all by itself. Sue bought skates is an independent clause. So is Tom stole them.

You can connect them with a conjunction. These are: and, but, or, nor, for, yet, and so. Put a comma before the conjunction.

Example: Sue bought skates, but Tom stole them.

You can connect them without a conjunction by using a semicolon.

Example: Sue bought skates; Tom stole them.

Both techniques make two sentences into one longer one.

(Yes, sometimes really short sentences like this don’t need a comma according to some sources, but your editor will thank you if you use them anyway. He or she can decide if the comma adds clarity.)

Navajo Tribal Police - Tony and Anne Hillerman

Tony Hillerman (fair use)

Tony Hillerman, May 27, 1925 – October 26, 2008, was the author of a series of mysteries featuring Navajo tribal police. The first three books feature Joe Leaphorn. The next three feature Jim Chee. After that, both men are included in the books. The crimes are always more mysterious due to the lack of understanding between Navajo, Hopi and white people's ways of thinking. They are set in the American Southwest.

Recurring Characters of note:
Joe Leaphorn, Navajo Tribal Police
Jim Chee, Navajo Tribal Police
Bernadette Manuelito, eventual wife of Jim Chee

#1 The Blessing Way (1970)

#2 Dance Hall of the Dead (1973)

#3 Listening Woman (1978)

#4 People of Darkness (1980)

#5 The Dark Wind (1982)
The book opens with three Hopi men walking back from collecting spruce branches for a sacred ceremony. The find the body of a man, but since he is Navajo, and they do not want to disrupt their own ceremony, they do not report it. The palms of the hands and the soles of the feet have been cut off the dead man. By the time the body is found it is badly decomposed.

A small plane with pilot and passenger is night flying in to an arroyo bringing a cargo of cocaine. The experienced pilot crashes. When the plane is found, both men are dead, a third man has a bullet in his back, and the drugs are missing.

This incident occurs on land that has recently been transferred to the Hopi tribe by the government. It used to be Navajo. A well was dug for the Hopi, but the windmill has been severely vandalized three times.

How are these incidents related? Jim Chee is new to this jurisdiction, and he is sent to look into only the windmill damage. But he can't help but find evidence relating to the other issues.

#6 The Ghostway (1984)

#7 Skinwalkers (1986)

#8 A Thief of Time (1988)

#9 Talking God (1989)

#10 Coyote Waits (1990)

#11 Sacred Clowns (1993)

#12 The Fallen Man (1996)

#13 The First Eagle (1998)

#14 Hunting Badger (1999)

#15 The Wailing Wind (2002)
Young and new, Officer Bernadette Manuelito finds a dead man in a pickup truck in one of the many dry arroyos of the area. Seeing no wounds, she assumes he drank himself to death like so many others have done. Her hobby is botany, and while waiting for other authorities to arrive, she collects some seeds for certain Navajo ceremonies and carries them in a cast-off tobacco tin she finds.

But the tin has ties not only to the dead man, but to an old murder, and a long lost gold mine. Chee and Leaphorn manage to get the tobacco tin re-placed at the site without getting Bernadette in trouble.

Denton Wiley had confessed to the old murder, served his time, and is still hunting for his wife who disappeared at about the same time. He engages Joe Leaphorn to try to find her. How are all these events related?

#16 The Sinister Pig (2003)

#17 Skeleton Man (2004)

#18 The Shape Shifter (2006)

After Tony's death, Anne Hillerman wrote the following books:

#19 2013 Spider Woman's Daughter (2103)

#20 2015 Rock With Wings (2015)

#21 2017 Song of the Lion (2017)

#22 2018 Cave of Bones (2018)

#23 2019 The Tale Teller (2019)

#24 2021 Stargazer (2021)

#25 2022 The Sacred Bridge (2022)

#26 2023 The Way of the Bear (2023)

#27 2024 Lost Birds (2024)

Mystery/Thriller Series - Ali Reynolds

J.A. Jance (Creative Commons)

Judith Ann Jance, born 1944, is an author of three different mystery series, all written under her own name. Alison Reynolds is the protagonist in this series. She begins the series as a news reporter for a TV station in the Los Angeles area.

Recurring characters of note:
Alison Reynolds, Ali
Edie, her mother
Bob, her father- her parents run a restaurant in Sedona
Christopher, her adult son.

#1 Edge of Evil (2006)

#2 Web of Evil (2007)
A man is left on railroad tracks in the trunk of a car where he is subsequently killed by the train. Ali passes the emergency vehicles in the middle of the night, having no idea what the commotion is. She is on her way to a meeting of all parties to finalize her divorce proceedings from Paul Grayson. Paul needs the divorce to go through because he's scheduled to marry the next Mrs. Grayson the very next day. That woman, April, is 8 1/2 months pregnant with Paul's child. But Paul does not show up for the meeting.

#3 Hand of Evil (2007)

#4 Cruel Intent (2008)

#5 Trial By Fire (2009)

#6 Fatal Error (2011)

#7 Left for Dead (2012)

#8 Deadly Stakes (2013)

#9 Moving Target (2014)

#10 A Last Goodbye (novella) (2014)

#11 Cold Betrayal (2015)

#12 No Honor Among Thieves (novella) (2015)

#13 Clawback (2016)

#14 Random Acts (novella) (2016)

#15 Man Overboard (2017)

#16 Duel to the Death (2018)

#17 The A List (2019)

#18 Credible Threat (2020)

#19 Unfinished Business (2021)

#20 Collateral Damage (2023)

Mystery Series - Donut Shop Mysteries

Jessica Beck is the author of several cozy mystery series and has been awarded many honors in the mystery field. The Donut Shop Mysteries are cozies in the most modern of terms. They have a female protagonist who owns a small shop- a donut shop, they are set in a small town, the violence and sex are played way down. This series is considered a culinary cozy set. Sprinkled throughout the book are recipes for several kinds of donuts. There is a heavy emphasis on who is dating whom. Most of the plot is dialog.

Recurring characters of note:
Suzanne Hart, owner of the donut shop
Grace, her best friend
Dorothy, Suzanne's mother

Glazed Murder (2010)
Fatally Frosted (2010)
Sinister Sprinkles (2010)
Evil Eclairs (2011)
Tragic Toppings (2011)
Killer Crullers (2012)

Drop Dead Chocolate (2012)
This book opens with everyone in town being angry with the mayor, Cam Hamilton. He has bid on a construction job, and it's clearly a conflict of interest. Dorothy storms into his office to tell him what for and comes out with the determination to collect enough signatures to file and run against the mayor in the upcoming election. But the next day the mayor is dead.

Dorothy is dating the police chief, Suzanne is dating Jake (a police officer), Grace is dating a man named Peter. The book is strongly aimed at readers who want to enjoy the relationships.

Powdered Peril (2012)
Illegally Iced (2012)
Deadly Donuts (2013)
Assault and Batter (2013)
Sweet Suspects (2013)
Deep Fried Homicide (2014)
Custard Crime (2014)
Lemon Larceny (2014)
Bad Bites (2014)
Old Fashioned Crooks (2014)
Dangerous Dough (2015)
Troubled Treats (2015)
Sugar Coated Sins (2015)
Criminal Crumbs (2015)
A Holiday Donut Steal (2015)
Vanilla Vices (2015)
Raspberry Revenge (2016)
Fugitive Filling (2016)
Devil's Food Defense (2016)
Pumpkin Pleas (2016)
Floured Felonies (2016)
Mixed Malice (2016)
Tasty Trials (2017)
Baked Books (2017)
Cranberry Crimes (2017)
Boston Cream Bribery (2017)
Cherry Filled Charges (2017)
Scary Sweets (2017)
Cocoa Crush (2017)
Pastry Penalties (2018)
Apple Stuffed Alibis (2018)
Perjury Proof (2018)
Caramel Canvas (2019)
Dark Drizzles (2019)
Counterfeit Confections (2019)
Measured Mayhem (2019)
Blended Bribes (2019)
Sifted Sentences (2019)
Dusted Discoveries (2020)
Nasty Knead (2020)
Rigged Rising (2020)
Donut Despair (2020)
Whisked Warnings (2020)
Baker's Burden (2020)
Battered Bluff (2020)
The Hole Truth (2021)
Donut Disturb (2021)
Wicked Wedding Donuts (2021)
Donut Hearts Homicide (2022)
Jelly-Filled Justice (2022)
The Last Donut (2023)

Mystery Series - The Secrets of Heathersleigh Hall

Michael Phillips

Michael Phillips has written over 100 books, including Christian fiction and various scholarly works on the Scottish author George MacDonald. The Heathersleigh Hall series is categorized as mystery, but the mystery is rather thin, although the books are well written. They are set in England in the late 1800s and early 1900s, following the Rutherford family for several generations. The mystery is laid out right in the beginning when a set of twins is born in 1829.

However, most of the action in the books cover the lives of the children and grandchildren of those twins. A lot of emphasis is placed on Christian living, although the books are well-written enough that they don't become sermonizing. But the books are more about the interactions of the family members than they are about solving a mystery. The books so accurately reflect attitudes of the era, so much so that Phillips received criticism from some women for various passages in the book. As he points out in introductions, prefaces, etc... his goal was to make the characters true to the time period, a I think he has done so.

Recurring Characters of note
Charles Rutherford, Lord of Heathersleigh Hall
Jocelyn, his wife
George, their sone
Amanda, their daughter
Catharine, their daughter
Gifford Rutherford, Charles' cousin, son of the other twin
Gregory Rutherford, Gifford's son
Bobby McFee, gardner
Maggie McFee, his wife
Timothy Diggersfeld, a pastor

#1 Wild Grows the Heather in Devon (1998)
The book begins with the birth of twins in 1829 and a secret which remains hidden for three generations.

Jumping to the 1890s and early years of Charles and Jocelyn's marriage, he is a member of the House of Commons. Jocie has never come to terms with a large red birthmark on her face. Charles becomes a Christian, and soon Jocie joins the faith. Their son George readily accepts their new lifestyle, but Amanda does not like the changes in her family which she considers to be too restrictive for the life she wants to live.

Cousin Gifford visits, demanding that they find an old Bible, but no one alive has ever seen it

This is all set in the backdrop of the political conditions of Britain and Europe prior to World War I. Amanda rebels from her family and goes to London to join the suffragette movement.

#2 Wayward Winds (1999)
Amanda is taken in by the Pankhurts and becomes embroiled in the suffragette movement. Charles, although he has resigned from Parliament, is still a well-known figure in England, especially as he and George work together to electrify rural England. Charles is recruited by a nebulous movement called the "Fountain of Light." But he resists, sensing that their motives are more subversive than noble.

Meanwhile, Amanda realizes that she is being used because of her name. She leaves the Pankhursts, only to be sucked into one of the secret groups who are also using her, although she is still too rebellious and angry to see it.

She leaves London to travel to Europe and is actually in Austria when WWI breaks out.

#3 Heathersleigh Homecoming (1999)
This is my favorite of the four books, mostly because I prefer intrigue and action to long passages about what the characters are thinking. It's mostly about Amanda

Amanda has become seriously entangled with a group that is plotting against the Allies. She finally realizes this and plans an escape. She makes it as far as Switzerland where she is protected by a group of women who are not attached to a church as a convent would be, but they challenge her to spiritually examine her life in ways she was never before ready to hear.

Charles is called back into service of the Navy, and George is stationed on the same ship.

#4 A New Dawn Over Devon (2001)
Although WWI continues, it is very far away from Heathersleigh Hall. Many changes come to the manor and the village. Telling very much about this book and period of their lives would definitely be a spoiler for the rest of the series.

The secret surrounding the twins' birth, three generations in the past, is brought to light and it has ramifications for them all.

Cousin Gifford, his wife Martha, and son Geoffrey are important characters.