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Sunday, May 29, 2011

Succintly Yours- Flash Fiction

I'm going to play again. I should be doing more serious things, but O well... The "extra credit" word is "glisten," and this time I wrote 140 words with the inspiration coming from this picture:



Here's my story:

  “Hey Ma! Where did you go?”
  “I looked out and the rain was glistening on the road. It reminded me that I needed to buy glitter and glue for Alyssa’s Brownie crafts, so I went to the dollar store.”
  “Why are you walking in the middle of the road?”
  “That way I can see the water glisten all around me. It reminds me of the beach.”
  “Geez, Ma! That beach vacation was 18 years ago. Alyssa goes to the community college now.”
  “Oh, Brian, you are such a joker. The Brownies meet on Tuesday afternoon.”
  “I suppose they do. Hop on, Ma. I’ll take you home and Alyssa will fix you some nice warm tea.”
  “Do I know Alyssa?”
  “Yes, Ma. Alyssa’s my daughter. Be good and ride home with me.”
  “This is exciting. Good thing I wore my slacks.”

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The prompt came from Grandma's Goulash

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14 comments:

  1. jabblogMay 29, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    Poignant and so well written.

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  2. SparkleFarkelMay 29, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    Poignant indeedy-- especially because our family had to rush to my MIL's bedside yesterday. Alzheimer's be the beast. [UPDATE: She's still with us. (Hang in there, Gram, and God bless you.) Please keep her in your prayers? Thank you so much.]

    I hope that when my time comes, my last adding to the converstion does not include the words "Dollar Store." *reminded of Gram's wonderful sense of humour, chuckles to self*

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  3. anthonynorthMay 29, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    Yes, I agree, this was poignant and so well handled.

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  4. SoniaMay 29, 2011 at 1:43 PM

    jabblog had it right. Poignant is the word. This is so sad and touching. Well done.

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  5. Kay L. DaviesMay 29, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    As everyone has said, poignant. Reminds me of my parents. Very sad, but we cope as this young man does, one episode at a time. Well done.
    -- Kay, Alberta, Canada

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  6. Gemma WisemanMay 29, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    A very sad reality for so many, but beautifully told!

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  7. HelenMay 29, 2011 at 9:16 PM

    Very nicely done! Sometimes as we get older we live in past realities.

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  8. PatMay 29, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    You wrote a beautifully touching story. Nice job.

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  9. Lisa Ricard ClaroMay 30, 2011 at 10:01 AM

    Quite a different take than I expected, and handled with a tender touch. My heart goes out to both of them.

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  10. AkelamaluMay 30, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    What a touching story! I like it. :)

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  11. AnyesMay 30, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    such a sweet caring son! Bravo :-)

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  12. Lynette KillamMay 30, 2011 at 9:38 PM

    A sweet and tender exchange that touched my heart...nicely done..:)

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  13. Susan FobesMay 30, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    I loved this! Like you, I should be working on another project, but...

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  14. Grandma's GoulashMay 31, 2011 at 12:58 AM

    You've conveyed a lot in that short exchange. I'm so glad you decided to play again. I wouldn't have wanted to miss this touching story.

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It would be great to know what you think!